In the course of life, we collect countless things but also experiences that burden us at some point. Then you might eventually get the advice: “Just let go!” But that’s not so easy. As you can learn, we have put together 10 tips and 5 exercises.
What is the subject of letting go?
There are a lot of things that we should better say goodbye to our lives because we have been dealing with them for too long. These include, for example:
- Things that we no longer need, but which clog our homes and our energy
- hurt feelings, insults or other adverse experiences in the past
- Guilt feelings about a past mistake
- Behavior patterns that harm us
- a job that makes us sick
- the former partner who left us long ago
- the children who have long been on their own feet
- a person who died
If we can not let go of such and similarly onerous things, situations and persons, we remain permanently in the past. And that has many negative consequences: Firstly, it stands in the way of our present happiness and permanently prevents us from being truly free and satisfied.
On the other hand, however, the burdens can become so great that illness symptoms such as pain, stomach upset, anxiety, insomnia, or depression are added. Do not let it get that far, but say goodbye now to the things that burden you. We will help you with the following tips and exercises.
Ten tips to help you learn to let go
Know your excuses
You know that you should let go of certain things, thoughts, or relationships, but if you think about it, there are just too many counter-arguments:
- “I’ve already invested so much; I can not just throw it away now.”
- “I just have to hold on a bit; then it will be better.”
- “If I lose that, what’s left for me?”
All these and many more arguments are nothing more than excuses that keep you from taking necessary steps. There is a saying that fits in well with this situation: “If you notice that your horse is dead, then get off.” If you imagine this situation figuratively, the arguments become quite ridiculous: if the horse is dead, it is It does not matter if you invested a lot, it will not continue. It does not matter how long you wait, or if you are afraid of what comes afterward. This horse will not come back. All that matters now is how you deal with the situation. So it is with many things that we should let go, too.
How much are you worth to yourself?
Often we remain in adverse situations because we feel that something better is not coming. However, this way of thinking harms you. You should always be worth changing adverse conditions and looking for something else that will do you good.
Give up, “What would have been if …”
Mind games that begin with “what if …” rarely lead to something positive. They only keep you more in touch with what you want to let go of. Be clear: all these thoughts are not real. Maybe it would have been nice if something else had come out, but that’s not how it was. Forget the musings and stick to what happened.
Allow yourself to grieve
Grief is not only caused by the death of one person, but also by all other losses. We also grieve when a relationship dissolves, when our circumstances change or when we have to let go of things that are important to us. Allow yourself the sadness with all its aspects. If you live it, it will be much easier for you to say goodbye.
Benefit from the experiences of others
How have others managed to deal with losses and finally let things go? If you know people who are in similar situations as you, then you can ask them about their experiences. But even books or reports that revolve around this topic can be beneficial in finding new ways.
Change the environment
As long as you are genuinely in the situation, letting go is particularly tricky. In a different context, it may be much easier for you to think about it and take the first steps. Of course, you do not have to move immediately. A vacation or a day hike can be enough. Prerequisite: In your changing environment, you also have to take the time and leisure to deal with the subject of letting go.
Do not expect too much at once
Letting go is a lengthy process that is not done at once. You will probably be getting new to this topic over and over again, and it will take quite a while for you to let go of different areas finally. Be patient with you! Development processes need their time. And every little step brings you closer to your goal.
Letting go is something other than giving up
Sometimes letting go is so tricky, because one has the feeling of admitting one’s failure. It is the other way around: Maybe your project has failed. But if you hold on to it for longer, you’ll hurt yourself more and more. In time to pull the emergency brake, however, testifies to size.
Decide what you want to let go
Others tell you you have to let go of things? You do not always have to take this seriously. After all, other people still have their perspective. More importantly, what do YOU want to get rid of? Make a conscious decision about which things you want to let go of and for which the time has not yet come.
Get professional help
If you’re burdened with things for a long time that you can not get rid of, you should seek professional advice. This can be a psychotherapist or a coach. The main thing is that you have a person whom you trust and who can help you with their outward view, to recognize the next necessary steps.
Five exercises to help you learn to let go:
Practice, to forgive
Old insults are hard to let go of. The reason: Many people feel they sanction the injuries by forgiving the polluter. The matter looks quite different: From your grudge and pain, the causer gets very little with. He, on the other hand, is continually burdening you. The way out of this misery is forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean “starting again” or accepting one’s actions with the other. Mercy has nothing to do with the other. It just means that you complete the topic for yourself and decide not to let it influence you. The appropriate exercise is as follows: Imagine the person who has hurt or hurt you. If you like, you can also use a photo or a symbolic drawing, which stands for the person concerned. Speak then (quietly!) With this person and tell everything once again what has happened. There is room for disappointment, anger, or injury here. But then you end your conversation differently than you would otherwise. You say something like, “Now it’s enough. I forgive you, what you have done so that I can find peace again. What happens is a thing of the past. “Feel how you feel for a moment, then finish the exercise. So that I can find peace again. What happens is a thing of the past. “Feel how you feel for a moment, then finish the exercise. So that I can find peace again. What happens is a thing of the past. “Feel how you feel for a moment, then finish the exercise.
Live in the here and now
If there is something you should let go of, then you live too much in the past that puts a strain on you. Many exercises can help you arrive in the here and now. A straightforward one is the one you best do daily: for one or two minutes, be aware of what you can perceive around you. What do you see, what do you hear, what do you smell, what do you feel? Be aware: These things are real, now and here.
Advantages and disadvantages: Draw a balance
Letting go is a painful process, so it pays to tell you what it can do to you. Sit down and write in concrete terms what could happen if you let go of something specific. What benefit could arise, and what damage? And – conversely – what would it hold you to hold on to it? Be honest with yourself, and then look at the balance sheet. Does she speak for letting go? Then you should start with it today.
Solve the tape
Especially when it comes to letting go-to people, you can use this exercise well. Imagine how you face the person in question. Between your bodies, there is a band that you once made. To let go, you have to solve this band in your imagination. Concretely imagine how you cut or cut the tape off the other’s body. Solve it on your body as well. Then roll it up and put it in your pocket. Say goodbye to the other one. And then imagine how you turn around and walk away without looking back.
Use symbolic actions
Many symbolic actions have something to do with letting go. For example, you can write your topic on a sheet of paper and burn it. Or you take an item that symbolizes the theme and throws it deliberately in the bin. Also a possibility: Dig a hole in the earth and sink a symbol for your topic there. All these symbolic actions can help you practice letting go.